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Rattlesnakes--like Mental Illness--are Beautiful!

7/30/2014

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Rattlesnakes are “beautiful” and “non-aggressive.”  That’s what naturalists said at Great Basin National Park according to a recent newspaper article[1].  

Are you kidding?  These are the ugly serpents I desperately feared as a boy. 

When I was four years old, my family moved to a new home in the foothills of the Salt Lake Valley.  During the first summer, my father killed with a shovel two rattlers while we were gardening in our backyard.  I thought he was very brave and was valiantly protecting our family.   Later when Mrs. Richardson, my second grade teacher, gave my class an assignment to list the things we feared most, “raddle snakes” (sic) was first my list   (I still remember her correcting my spelling!)

Yet, over the years as an adult as I’ve read about and had more encounters with these snakes, my feelings have moved from terror to cautious fascination.  “About the only way they bite is if you try to catch them or you try to kill them, or if you accidentally stepped or sat on one,” these same naturalist reported.  That’s consistent with my experience.  The Great Basin rattlesnake is the one I’m familiar with.  Perhaps other varieties are more aggressive.  But I’ve never had a problem them, though I’ve come upon them about ten times on mountain hikes.  The only person I know of who was bitten had crazily picked one up to show his kids.  He was the father of one of the young men in my troop when I was a Scoutmaster.  (That made for a great campfire story about never messing with dangerous things such as drugs and pornography.)

On the other hand, poisonous snakes do good in the world.  They are part of the wonderful ecosystem that interconnects animals, plants, and geological features.   Further, their venom is used for medicinal purposes.  It’s used to treat heart attacks, blood disorders, brain injuries, strokes, and other diseases.  I recently met a man in Colorado who maintains a warehouse of 75 caged rattlesnakes and extracts their venom—every two weeks consistent with the animal’s regeneration period—for medicinal and research purposes.  He told me that demand is so high, he intends on quadrupling his snakes and production.

Like rattlers, I also feared mental illness when I was younger—including my own experiences with major depressive episodes when I was eighteen.  My doctor told me I just had a “temporary chemical imbalance,” but I was left feeling it was a lot deeper and more serious than that.  It was such a scary thing for me that I was afraid to ask too many questions.   My parents treated the situation with secrecy and unease.    For years after that experience, I feared that more episodes—more “temporary chemical imbalances”—would mysteriously erupt.  Discussing mental illness was a taboo in my home growing up.

But I’ve become more enlightened over the last twenty years.  Through therapy I grew to understand what happened to me when I was eighteen and the factors that caused the episodes.  I no longer fear they will return.  I’ve also recognized and learned to manage the moderate chronic clinical depression and generalized anxiety I’ve experienced much of my life.   I try to manage my mental health closely and carefully and I consider myself to be in recovery.

 Yes, I’ve become more knowledgably and comfortable with the topic of mental illness.  I have no problem discussing it with others.  In fact, my memoir book of my experiences with mental illness was published.  I’ve taught many classes, led support groups, and given many presentations about mental illness. 

I’ve learned that mental illness has its benefits, too.  Harvard psychology profession Nassir Ghaemi’s book, A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness states that some individuals have risen to great leadership at moments of crisis in history because of their mental illness, not in spite of it.  Lincoln, Churchill, and Gandhi are among the several examples cited.

Psychologist Fred Frese has schizophrenia and became a director of a state mental hospital that he earlier had been committed to.   I heard him say at a conference that he views his disease as not a “deficit,” but a “difference” from those who are “chronically normal.”  He said that people with schizophrenia usually have greater abilities in theoretical rationality.  He referred to the movie, A Beautiful Mind that portrays the life of John Nash, a Nobel Laureate in Economics who lived with schizophrenia.

 In my case, I believe my experiences with mental illness have helped me be a more empathetic, resilient person. 

So, rattlesnakes and mental illness: both things that are very scary in ignorance, but may be beneficial when understood and dealt with in an enlightened way.

Rattlesnakes and mental illness are beautiful!

[1] Deseret News, 6/20/2014, B1



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Am I Crazy to be Thankful for Mental Illness?

11/22/2012

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This morning I went running with my daughter, Jannie.  Becky and I with our son, Richard, traveled to Colorado to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and her wonderful husband and three daughters.   I usually hike or bike for my morning exercise, but it was great chatting with her between my heavy breaths.  She’s in much better shape than I.

Our discussions led into talking about the genes our families inherited that make us prone to mental illness.  I commented that I see these genes as blessings and I told her of this experience.

A couple of weeks ago I heard Fred Frese speak at the annual NAMI Utah state conference held at the University of Utah student union building.  Dr. Frese says that as far as he knows, he was the first person with schizophrenia to receive a PhD.  He’s made great research and therapy advances in the treatment of this mental disorder.  People worldwide applaud him for his accomplishments.

But it wasn’t always that way.  In his late twenties he was committed to an Ohio state mental hospital and told that he would spend the remainder of his life there.  That was after a Marine Corp diagnosis at age 26.  Back then, that’s what was done with people like him.  They were discarded from society and warehoused.  He was placed in what was considered at the time one of the largest buildings in the U.S.

But a combination of his tenacity and the development of psychotropic mediations changed that.   He went on to be a director of the very mental hospital to which he was once committed.  What a success story!

He views his disease as not a deficit, but a difference from those who are “chronically normal.”  People with schizophrenia usually have greater abilities in theoretical rationality.  He put up as evidence John Nash, Nobel Prize winning mathematician on whom the moving “A Beautiful Mind” was based.   Further, he projected five digital images of George Washington on the big screen with increasing levels of definition.  Those with schizophrenia typically recognize the face at 1 or 2.  It took me until 5!

Dr. Frese now gives frequent keynote speeches.  He is witty, informative, and engaging.  He almost persuaded me that I had been shorted with just having chronic depression and anxiety.

Mental illness can be a blessing if we recognize it, get help, get to a better place, and appreciate it for the thing of benefit that it is.  I love this quote:  “We must be careful that we don't resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature.”[i]  I really believe that dealing with struggles like mental illness help us to be more God-like.

So today I am grateful for the blessing of mental illness among my other God-given gifts.

[i] Paul V. Johnson, Ensign, May 2011



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The "Insane" and "Crazy" are Transforming the World!

9/28/2011

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The playbill program says that it was “insane” that the play I attended last night was ever launched on Broadway.  I’m not kidding!  Nevertheless, I liked the production, and apparently many other people have too.  Next to Normal has moved from Broadway to other locations including the Pioneer Memorial Theater here in Salt Lake where I watched it. 

The playbill’s “Notes on the Play” tells of how musician Tom Kitt and lyricist Brian Yorkey with the help of producer David Stone worked to perfect the play over many years.   However, the notes say, “financial success on the Great White Way is rare even in the best of economic times, but launching a rock musical about a women with a mental illness in the midst of a recession seemed...  well... insane.” [i]

I found the play riveting, entertaining, distressing, and uplifting all at once.  It’s about the struggles of a woman with bipolar disorder, and the impacts on her husband and daughter.  This musical drama portrays psychotherapy, and psychiatric medications and their side effects.  The plot includes a suicide attempt and electroconvulsive therapy with its benefits and side effects.  The story shows how the family moves from expecting to be perfectly normal to acceptance of living “next to normal.” The production ends on a note of hope that the three individually and as a family are getting to a better place.   

From what I have learned from others and have experienced myself, the play was quite realistic in its depictions.   I did cringe at the strong language used throughout the production.  The play would have been even better without it.  Nevertheless, overall, I was very pleased not only with the entertainment value of play, but that people who watch it can’t help but be more informed about mental illness.  Perhaps Next to Normal will help break down stigmas and foster hope so more individuals suffering from brain disorders will get help.

Speaking of “insane” things, just last week someone told me I was “crazy” when I delivered a speech about being in the professional speaking business.  My presentation was to a very distinguished group: members and guests of the National Speakers Association, Mountain West Chapter.  During this speech, I told of how I have factors working against me:  I’m a profound introvert who shies away from large groups, I’m an accountant—a profession whose members have a stereotypical reputation of being bland and boring (people understood and started laughing even before I told my accountant jokes!), and I speak on a topic—like the play—that people often find uncomfortable: mental illness.

I went on to say that I am successful because I’m passionate about my topic, there are many people who benefit from my message, and I’ve proved from feedback I’ve received that I’m making a significant difference in people’s lives.    Right after my speech when I returned to sit with the audience, one of my friends lightheartedly handed me a note that said I could advertise that “I’m crazy about my topic.”

So, the play’s launch was “insane” and I’m “crazy.”  Not very flattering, huh?  Even so, perhaps as more people do Broadway plays, write books, speak about mental illness, and otherwise promote good mental health, the world is little by little transforming into a better place.  More people will get help so they can push on to happier and more fulfilling lives.

[i] “Next to Normal” playbill distributed by Pioneer Memorial Theater, 2011, 17



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    Owen Ashton is an author, inspirational speaker, and mental health advocate as well as a CPA and former corporate financial executive.

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