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From Stigma to Advocate – Continued

2/3/2015

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This continues my last entry on how I have fortunately ridded myself of most of the feelings of shame and stigmas relating to my living with mental illness.  Writing and getting a book published about my mental health journey helped.  But there’s more.

Learning that other individuals whom I respect greatly have lived with mental illness has also helped.  A couple of examples:

Winston Churchill:  When I was in the seventh grade, a classmate initiated a petition to name the new junior high being completed in our growing Salt Lake suburb “Churchill.”  The school district had chosen the mundane name “Foothill.”  It was early 1965 and the great former British prime minister had just died.  My classmate was successful and I began attending Churchill Junior High School when it opened the next school year!  The name didn't mean much to me back then.  But now this great leader who was so key in leading the Allied forces to victory in World War II is a great inspiration to me.  If he could do great things living with the “black dog” as he referred to his bouts with depression, then perhaps I too could be worthwhile to the world in a smaller way.  He spoke of his depression to others.  So could I.

The book by Nassir Ghaemi, “A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness” tells of how Churchill and other leaders have been great because of their mental illness, not in spite of it.  His descriptions of Lincoln and Gandhi have also been especially inspiring to me.

Fred Frese:  I heard this great psychologist speak at a NAMI state conference a few years ago.  He became a director of the same Ohio state mental hospital that he had been committed to after being declared “insane” with schizophrenia years before.  He said that he views his disease as not a “deficit” but a “difference” from those who are “chronically normal.”  He said that among other good traits, people with schizophrenia usually have greater abilities in theoretical rationality.

Listening to Dr. Frese helped me feel like my experiences with depression and anxiety did not make me defective but rather imbued with special talents that I could use to help others.

The examples of these great men have genuinely helped me to eschew stigmas and feel good about myself and develop a zeal to be an effective and impactful mental health advocate.
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From Stigma to Advocate

2/3/2015

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At a weekly NAMI peer-to-peer class I teach for those of us who live with mental illness, a fortyish woman showed-up for the first time.  She was articulate and quite expressive of her feelings in a positive way.  She told us how scared and reluctant she was to come to a “mental illness support group.”  Her therapist had encouraged her.  She said that a family member had offered to accompany her for support, but she told him, "Absolutely not!" as that would make the situation even more embarrassing to her!

Incidents such as this remind me of just how strong the stigma about mental illness is in the minds of many people—both for those of us who know we have it and those who think they don’t.

We all know that the mental illness stigma is a big obstacle to people getting treatment.  I've been thinking recently about how it also prevents many from being more effective mental health advocates.  If we fear that others are going to judge us negatively if we reveal that we live with mental illness, then we are not going to tell anyone but our closest family members and friends with whom we feel very secure—if we share it with anyone at all.

These thoughts led me to ponder on how I got over most all of the stigma and shame I felt within myself when I was younger.  And I felt it a lot!  This was likely reinforced by my well-meaning parents who were trying to protect me when I was release from a psychiatric ward when I was eighteen after experiencing major depressive episodes.  Perhaps they were protecting themselves a bit also.  When visitors came to our home, my parents asked me to go to another room and remain unseen so the visitors would assume I was still away at college.  My parents didn’t want questions.  They told me not to go to church—really surprising as we never missed on Sundays even when away on vacations.

These feelings carried through my writing a book manuscript about my mental health journey.  I wrote it with all names of people and places changed.  I had dreamed up a scheme of getting it published incognito.  When I finally got the courage to share my writing with a few family members and close friends, a couple of them strongly encouraged me to put my own name of it.  They said I had an extremely important message to share, but that without a real author behind the book, it wouldn't sell.  I acquiesced.  I like to think that my altruistic side won-out over my stigma insecurities.  The feedback I've received about how it has helped individuals has been gratifying, and I've become a full-fledged, full-time mental health advocate.  This has been most satisfying for me.  But first before I could this, I had to overcome the feelings of stigma and shame within myself.

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Rattlesnakes--like Mental Illness--are Beautiful!

7/30/2014

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Rattlesnakes are “beautiful” and “non-aggressive.”  That’s what naturalists said at Great Basin National Park according to a recent newspaper article[1].  

Are you kidding?  These are the ugly serpents I desperately feared as a boy. 

When I was four years old, my family moved to a new home in the foothills of the Salt Lake Valley.  During the first summer, my father killed with a shovel two rattlers while we were gardening in our backyard.  I thought he was very brave and was valiantly protecting our family.   Later when Mrs. Richardson, my second grade teacher, gave my class an assignment to list the things we feared most, “raddle snakes” (sic) was first my list   (I still remember her correcting my spelling!)

Yet, over the years as an adult as I’ve read about and had more encounters with these snakes, my feelings have moved from terror to cautious fascination.  “About the only way they bite is if you try to catch them or you try to kill them, or if you accidentally stepped or sat on one,” these same naturalist reported.  That’s consistent with my experience.  The Great Basin rattlesnake is the one I’m familiar with.  Perhaps other varieties are more aggressive.  But I’ve never had a problem them, though I’ve come upon them about ten times on mountain hikes.  The only person I know of who was bitten had crazily picked one up to show his kids.  He was the father of one of the young men in my troop when I was a Scoutmaster.  (That made for a great campfire story about never messing with dangerous things such as drugs and pornography.)

On the other hand, poisonous snakes do good in the world.  They are part of the wonderful ecosystem that interconnects animals, plants, and geological features.   Further, their venom is used for medicinal purposes.  It’s used to treat heart attacks, blood disorders, brain injuries, strokes, and other diseases.  I recently met a man in Colorado who maintains a warehouse of 75 caged rattlesnakes and extracts their venom—every two weeks consistent with the animal’s regeneration period—for medicinal and research purposes.  He told me that demand is so high, he intends on quadrupling his snakes and production.

Like rattlers, I also feared mental illness when I was younger—including my own experiences with major depressive episodes when I was eighteen.  My doctor told me I just had a “temporary chemical imbalance,” but I was left feeling it was a lot deeper and more serious than that.  It was such a scary thing for me that I was afraid to ask too many questions.   My parents treated the situation with secrecy and unease.    For years after that experience, I feared that more episodes—more “temporary chemical imbalances”—would mysteriously erupt.  Discussing mental illness was a taboo in my home growing up.

But I’ve become more enlightened over the last twenty years.  Through therapy I grew to understand what happened to me when I was eighteen and the factors that caused the episodes.  I no longer fear they will return.  I’ve also recognized and learned to manage the moderate chronic clinical depression and generalized anxiety I’ve experienced much of my life.   I try to manage my mental health closely and carefully and I consider myself to be in recovery.

 Yes, I’ve become more knowledgably and comfortable with the topic of mental illness.  I have no problem discussing it with others.  In fact, my memoir book of my experiences with mental illness was published.  I’ve taught many classes, led support groups, and given many presentations about mental illness. 

I’ve learned that mental illness has its benefits, too.  Harvard psychology profession Nassir Ghaemi’s book, A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness states that some individuals have risen to great leadership at moments of crisis in history because of their mental illness, not in spite of it.  Lincoln, Churchill, and Gandhi are among the several examples cited.

Psychologist Fred Frese has schizophrenia and became a director of a state mental hospital that he earlier had been committed to.   I heard him say at a conference that he views his disease as not a “deficit,” but a “difference” from those who are “chronically normal.”  He said that people with schizophrenia usually have greater abilities in theoretical rationality.  He referred to the movie, A Beautiful Mind that portrays the life of John Nash, a Nobel Laureate in Economics who lived with schizophrenia.

 In my case, I believe my experiences with mental illness have helped me be a more empathetic, resilient person. 

So, rattlesnakes and mental illness: both things that are very scary in ignorance, but may be beneficial when understood and dealt with in an enlightened way.

Rattlesnakes and mental illness are beautiful!

[1] Deseret News, 6/20/2014, B1



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Shooting One's Mouth Off Can Perpetuate Harmful Stigmas

1/15/2013

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“People who have mental illness issues shouldn't have guns.”  That’s the audio clip from New York’s Governor Cuomo that I heard played very early on a recent morning on the top-of-the-hour radio news.  I was listening via ear buds connected to my smart phone at I still lay in bed—something I occasionally do when I awake too early still need to rest before tackling the day.

Now some people may feel comfortable with this statement.  Not me.  I became upset.  In fact, I awoke my wife to tell her my feelings.  She wisely suggested that I calm down.

Why was I upset?  Because comments like this perpetuate and reinforce stigmas about mental illness that prevent people from getting help.  After all, this year 25 percent of the population will suffer from a diagnosable mental illness that should be treated.  Forty percent of them will not get help.  I asked myself, “How many people who own guns and also struggle with mental illness will seek treatment because now they fear their guns will be taken away?”

There is already too much scarring people off from receiving treatment.  I recently read that medical doctors who report mental illness on applications have a difficult time getting licensed.  The result?  Many lie and avoid getting treatment.  Airplane pilots face similar challenges.  For most of these people, the mental health issues they face have no more impact on their ability to perform well than having a runny nose at the tail end of a cold.

Sometimes I wonder what our world would be like if there had been litmus tests for mental illness for political, religious, and other leaders.  Lincoln, Gandhi, Churchill, Martin Luther King, Jr., and others would have been silenced.  These men didn't significant impact the course of human history despite their mental illness issues.  They did, in part, because of it.  They learned resilience, creativity, empathy, and other noble traits.

After I totally gave up on sleeping this morning, I arose and checked the internet to learn the context of Governor Cuomo’s remarks.  Sure enough, the little snippet reported on the news didn’t tell the whole story.  He was suggesting that those with mental illness whose behaviors indicate they could hurt others should be prohibited from possessing guns.  Sounds reasonable.

Mischaracterizations like the one I heard on the news are so unfortunate.  They negatively impact many people.

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Stigma Kills People

10/11/2011

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“He is mentally ill!”  That’s was her ultimate insult about her difficult neighbor of many years after she vented for about fifteen minutes about his continual irritating, erratic behavior.

I didn’t respond very well at our lunch table at the small Mexican restaurant with a few friends last week.  I looked at her sharply and said, “Well, exactly what mental illness does he have anyway?  I’m mentally ill too!”

Now that I’ve caught myself and thought about it, I’m confident that I’ll respond more kindly and appropriately the next time I hear a comment like that.  She really meant no harm by her ill-informed comment.  A lot of people like to use the stigma around mental illness as a verbal weapon.

That said, I really am sick of this disgusting, unenlightened, harmful thing that seems so ubiquitous in our culture.  As far as I could tell, no one at our table was hurt from her comment.  However, people that perpetuate this kind of talk only further emotionally beat down people who are already feeling the shame of mental illness, and may further discourage them from seeking help.  Some portion of those who don’t get help die from suicide.  So, my logic tells me that this horrific stigma leads to many deaths.

In a recent year, 827 individuals in my home state of Utah completed suicide.  That’s almost three times more that the number of deaths from auto accidents.  There is a healthy focus on preventing such deaths through discouraging drunk driving.  Well, perhaps we all need reminders and encouragement not to perpetuate mental illness stigma.  Perhaps this could prevent many deaths.  Maybe billboard, public service announcements, and other mass communications could help.  When I make my millions (but don’t hold your breath!) I could fund ,many such communications.

Occasionally, I see courageous acts of people that do give me hope. I see gutsy individuals who do the right thing despite the negativity.  One came yesterday.  I was manning a booth for NAMI Utah at a convention for educators.  A young woman with long blond hair and a pleasant demeanor approached.  She told me that she had been the head of the NAMI student organization at her college.  She explained that earlier in her college years, she had spent time in the psychiatric ward of a hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar.  Since then, counseling and medications have been helpful, and she was enjoying her first year of teaching high school.

I marvel at her good judgment and bravery.  She not only did not allow stigma get in her way of getting to a better place, but she stared it down by being a mental health standard bearing among her college peers.

With people like her in the world, there is great hope that cultural progress will be made!  The terrible stigma can be eradicated!


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Getting Help for Mental Illness Like We Do for Physical Diseases

5/26/2011

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When we opened our apartment front door, she marched right into our kitchen and started looking through our cabinets!  That’s what the middle-aged nurse from the county health department did when she visited our home.  She was looking for partly filled prescription medication bottles that would give evidence that I had been taking my pills.  I was considered a public health hazard with the tuberculosis that had set-in to my right lung lobe.  I had been diagnosed a few months before when I saw my doctor for a persistent cough.  Apparently I was infected a few years before when I was a missionary in Puerto Rico. The disease had lay dormant for a few years, and then flared up.

Everyone told me they hoped I would heal soon.  It wasn’t just the county health department: my wife and children, my parents, my sisters and brother, my neighbors and friends, and even my former employer.  The health department had required that about 30 people from my previous work department to be tested for TB.  Some of them let me know that they were not happy about that.  It seemed like no one was shy about discussing my disease with me.

The person who wanted a quick recovery the very most was…me!  I didn’t like the idea of being a public health risk.  Further, almost all of my regular daily activities were ordered to cease by my doctor.  I couldn’t attend college.  I couldn’t work, I couldn’t play basketball or tennis, and I couldn’t hike.  I had to stay home and rest.  Other than feeling tired, there were no other symptoms once the cough went away after I was on the medication for just a few weeks.   I had to stay in our small apartment and basically do nothing.  It was like being a criminal under house arrest.

After three or four months, the medications did work and I was considered cured.  Other than having to explain the small dime-sized scar left in my right lung whenever a chest X-ray was taken, it was like I had never had the dreaded disease.

I explain all of this because when I consider how the subject of mental illnesses is treated by many people, the sentiments and reactions are so different from those of a physical ailment such as TB.  Rather than focusing in on the condition and offering help and support for a remedy, mental illness is treated like it’s a subject to be ignored.  It’s a taboo topic and discussion is forbidden.  Those plagued by it are viewed as less worthy of love and attention.

This all is such a tragedy. 

I believe that mental illnesses should be viewed and treated a lot more like physical ailments.  When someone has TB or just the flu, the condition isn’t ignored and allowed to fester with neglect.  Treatment is actively administered, even if all that is needed is rest and drinking plenty of fluids.  Most people don’t look down condescendingly at a person who gets TB or the flu.  Rather, they offer their sympathy and support.

Why must it be so different with those who suffer from mental illnesses? 

Mental illnesses are not rare, unusual things.  Studies show that few families in the United States are unaffected by mental illness.  Epidemiology experts estimate that one in five suffers from a mental illness, and of those, less than 40% receive stable treatment.

People afflicted with mental illnesses often feel shame so they try to keep their illness a secret.  They suffer in silence.  Sometimes such an approach is promoted by others.

When I was 18 years old and had a severe bout of depression, a family member told me that I should avoid allowing other family and friends to know of my condition.  When visitors came to our home, I was told to leave the living room so the guests would not be suspicious of why I was home from college for a few months.  For the same reason, I was told to not attend church.

More recently since I’ve published a book about my mental health journey (and revealed to the world all my secrets!), I’ve been taken back by how many individuals have approached me and said something like, “It’s nice to have someone else I can talk to about my mental health challenges.  Most people don’t understand.”

I don’t know what it will take to change perceptions and openness about mental health issues.  But the biggest tragic result of the state we seem to be in is that people who suffer from mental illness do not seek help and treatment.  Many stay stuck in the frustrations, pain, hopelessness, and loneliness.  These really hurt!

If someone was in pain and limping from breaking a bone in his leg, most people would think it was a tragedy if he did not promptly receive proper medical attention.  But this very tragedy happens to millions of those inflicted with mental illnesses.

Good treatments are available.  I have experienced the tremendous benefits of psychotherapy and medication for depression and anxiety.  These things have been miracles in my life.

Perhaps if each one of us responds favorably and proactively with love and understanding when we learn that a friend or neighbor is suffering from a bout with mental illness, we will help facilitate a change in how mental illness is viewed. 

We probably don’t want things to come to a point where public health nurses are bursting into homes to ensure that treatments such as antidepressant medication are being properly taken.  But we do need more understanding and support of family and friends.

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    See Owen's newer blog posts at Esperanza Magazine's website!

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    Owen Ashton is an author, inspirational speaker, and mental health advocate as well as a CPA and former corporate financial executive.

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